I Know How It Will End: My Child Will Unplug My Life Support to Charge Their Phone

Life is full of uncertainties. Will I live a long, fulfilling life? Will I achieve my dreams? Will I ever figure out how to fold a fitted sheet? These are the big questions that keep me up at night. But when it comes to how it all ends for me, I have one crystal-clear vision: one of my kids will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Let’s be honest here—kids today are practically born with a phone in their hands. By the time they can walk, they’ve mastered swiping through apps better than I can navigate a TV remote. And as they grow, their attachment to their devices only strengthens. If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a parent, it’s that a dead phone battery is treated like a full-blown crisis. Forget the zombie apocalypse—nothing causes more panic than the “1% battery remaining” notification.

Now, I love my kids. They’re wonderful, bright, and full of potential. But let’s not kid ourselves: they have priorities. And if it’s between keeping Mom alive or saving their Snapchat streak, well… I know where I stand.

Picture this: there I am, hooked up to life support, peacefully dreaming of my glory days while my kids sit around my hospital bed. Suddenly, one of them gasps in horror—not because of my condition, but because their phone battery is critically low. They look around the room, desperate for a solution. Then their eyes land on the outlet powering my life support machine.

“Mom would understand,” they’d whisper to themselves as they unplug me and plug in their charger. “She’d want me to stay connected.”

I’d like to think this scenario is far-fetched, but let’s face it—kids today have an unshakable bond with their phones. They’ve grown up in a world where Wi-Fi is as essential as oxygen and Instagram likes are the currency of self-worth. If it ever comes down to me or TikTok, I know who wins.

Of course, I joke (mostly). Deep down, I know my kids love me more than their phones… right? RIGHT?! But just in case, I’m adding a clause to my will: no charging devices within a 10-foot radius of my hospital bed. A little insurance policy never hurt anyone.

FAQs

1. Are you seriously worried about this happening?
Not really! But as a parent, you learn to expect the unexpected—and laugh about it.

2. How can we prevent this from happening?
Teach your kids about priorities early on. Or just make sure there are plenty of outlets in your hospital room.

3. Is this a sign to cut back on screen time for kids?
Maybe! But let’s be honest, they’ll find a way to sneak in their screen time anyway.

In the end, all we can do is laugh at the absurdities of modern parenting and hope our kids will remember us fondly… even if our final moments involve them frantically looking for a charger.